Getting Out of 대한민국

I arrived in Singapore to begin my 3 month journey through South East Asia, but first I had to escape the clutches of officialdom in the land of morning calm. Oddly enough, it was much easier than I thought. As plenty of people probably know my visa situation was none too clear, nor legal in the last 8 months or so. This was not a problem while my ersatz visa functioned. However, due to my incompetency I was two months tardy in leaving the country. To compound matters I lost my wallet with my ARC a while back. This became the sticking point when I arrived at Incheon.

I made sure to get to the airport nice and early, exchanged my ill-gotten-gains for T/Cs and stood in the ticketing queue for too long. When the booths finally opened I was one of the first to try to get a ticket. Unfortunately the ticketing lady was far more diligent than any immigration officer I have encountered. She made quick work of my expired visa and surmised I had no ARC within seconds. From there it was icy glares from others in line while I held it up with what was sure to be a bureaucratic ordeal. After I explained my situation, I was escorted to the immigration office. I pled my case again, but I am sure that whatever the Sing Air lady said was all that really mattered since my Korean is definitely not up to the level of explaining things inside the state apparatus... After 20 minutes of waiting, having my passport handed off to the manager, and some other dude who frankly looked like an assassin (not the Vin Diesel bullshit assassin, more like Brother Mouzone from the Wire. Totally together, proper, bit of an egghead, but obviously slightly off-kilter) I started to sweat a bit. I could understand enough Korean to hear a lot of numbers for fines being bandied about. I wonder if I made a break for it they would actually shoot me... After more minutes of the immigration lady trying to get her printer to work I was presented with several papers to sign. Glad they were translated for me... for all I know I confessed to assisting in an attempted Japanese invasion of Dok-do... several official looking stamps in my passport later and I am being escorted back to get my ticket.

Do you have a return ticket?... No... You need a return ticket to enter Singapore... Oh, well I was unaware... We can't give you the ticket... Yes, you can... Please go speak to the manager...
I did. I had to sign more paper work promising that Singapore Air was not responsible for me getting turned away from entering Singapore. I was only allowed to sign this after I revealed how much money I was traveling with.

6 hours, several triple shots of Johnny Red, some quaility in-flight entertainment later I am at Changi International Airport, immigration card in hand, no evidence of a plan to depart. The lady at immigration takes one look at me, tears the immigration card stub, stamps my passport and doesn't even wish me a good night. Huzzahs for the tedium of bureaucracy! My trip has begun.