Malaysia, truly Asia?

If by truly Asia, you mean boring and dour. At least that is what Kuala Lumpur struck me as. I believe I had my first wow I'm in Delaware moment. KL sucked:

pros: food. it is simply amazing. I'd like to see Singapore and KL slug it out in kitchen stadium over the right to say who has better food from the Malay, Straits Chinese and Indian categories.

cons: just about everything else. Cab drivers are jerks. No one smiles (probably because they are all gritting their teeth at their maker for the cruel joke being played on them by habitating KL). It is impossible to walk anywhere. Sidewalks disappear. Enormous boulevards makes crossing streets life-threatening. Beer is absurdly expensive (yeah yeah I know it is a Muslim country, but I still count it as a fault). The best way I think I could describe Kuala Lumpur is through the following anecdote;

Trevor and I finally found a place that served decent beer and was somewhate welcoming. It was a German run bar and we sat and watched a football match and hoped to soak ourselves enough to get to the next day without jumping in front of traffic. A eldery Scotsman wandered over to see the score. We got to talking. He informed us that after a number of years living abroad (Paris, Düsseldorf, Munich, Amsterdam, Kuching) he ended up retiring to KL. We asked him why? His reply, simply "bad luck." He had been in KL for 10 years and looked like he was one scotch away from ODing on sleeping pills and ending it all. Scots are not the most cheery bunch, but this guy had the air about him that life had finally beaten him using the city to do it. Majorly depressing.

Penang. A much better location. Still with that distinct aftertaste of "damn, I'm still in Malaysia" but a huge step up. The old city has retained much of its charm and the food yet again is great. But everything was still underwhelming. It was even the Diwali festival when we arrived and no one seemed to be doing anything. I did however get a nice film camera (lens included for less than $100 so hooray for that).

As a nice little personal story, after a long day, made longer by the agonizingly hot sun beer was in order. Lots of it. If you ever get the chance to drink Skol super beer a warning. It is super. Super potent. Anyway, Trevor and I were wandering back streets looking for something not too pricey and out of the way. Ta-dah! Place that advertised the aforementioned beer at a great price. All locals. Seemed good enough. Sat down outside and started ordering up beers. 2 bottles in I started to get the feeling this was something of a special establishment (the word motel in the sign should have tipped me off more quickly). I sounded this idea outloud. Agreement. Like clockword, mostly Indian men would stop look in quickly, if they liked whatever it was they saw in they would pop for 15 minutes or so. Yeah. Brothel. Good times. We chatted with this guy who described why Malaysians like marijuana so much (it has to do with being able to eat rice easier, taking showers, and laughing at other people). He then confirmed that indeed the place was a whore house. I actually had a nice little chat with several of the ladies-of-the-evening when I was inside using the bathroom. They were all quite nice and one even proposed to me. All in all it was a highly amusing night. Too many beers later it was off to get night market fare and wallow in the sultry evening of Georgetown.